Jokes About Doctors

Jokes About Doctors
医生
1. \”I don\’t like your heart action,\” the doctor said, applying a stethoscope again. \”You have had some trouble with angina pectoris, haven\’t you?\”
\”You\’re right in a way, Doctor,\” said the young man sheepishly, \”only that isn\’t her name.\”

2. John:\”Doctor, lately I hear only half as good as I suppose to\”.
Doctor:\”I don\’t understand that, but lets try a small test. Say after me: eighty-eight\”.
John: \”Fourty-four\”.

3. Doctor:I have some bad news and some very bad news.
Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.
Doctor:The lab called with your test results.They said you have 24 hours to live.
Patient: 24 HOURS!That\’s terrible!!WHAT could be WORSE?What\’s the very bad news?
Doctor:I\’ve been trying to reach you since yesterday.

4. A guy with a banana in his nose, a cucumber in his left ear, and a carrot in his right ear goes to the doctor and says, \”Doctor, what is wrong with me\”? The doctor says, \”You\’re not eating right\”.

5. Doctor – \”Deep breathing, you understand, destroys microbes.\”
Patient – \”But, doctor, how can I force them to breathe deeply?\”

6. A man goes to the doctor and says, \”Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts.\”
The doctor asks, \”What do you mean?\”
The man says, \”When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee – OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts.\”
The doctor says, \”I know what\’s wrong with you – you\’ve broken your finger!\”

7. A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: \”I think that he is very ill.\” \”I am afraid that he is dead.\”said the doctor,
Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: \”I\’m not dead. I\’m still alive.\” \”Be quiet, \”said the wife. \”The doctor knows better than you!\”

8. Doctor: Please open your mouth, madam.
Lady: Thank you very much, doctor.
Doctor: Why do you thank me?
Lady: Because my husband always asked me to shut up.